Monday, November 2, 2015

It's Okay To Make Mistakes

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could go through life and never make a mistake? Wouldn't it be great to live our entire life and know beyond a doubt that we never once messed up? Well the answer to those questions is NO. See, it wouldn't be a wonderful life because it simply means we didn't try new things in our life. It would mean that we never ventured into those areas we were so afraid to go and explore. It would lead to a less fulfilling life and one that wouldn't lead to much excitement and/or personal gain and knowledge. Obviously I am talking about mistakes that don't harm you or others. It's okay to make a mistake, especially when we learn from them.

Each school year, about this time, I deal with so many students who will not give their speech in Senior English because they are afraid to talk in front of the class. The students would rather take an "F" for the assignment then have to get up and speak in front of everyone. I realize that public speaking is one of the top fears that people have. This year however, it got me thinking more about peoples fears and what is behind the fear. As I searched a lot of articles on the subject, I found that a lot of our fears come from the idea of not wanting to make a mistake. Maybe we were told over and over again by our parents not to make mistakes. Maybe there was a time in our life that we were laughed at when we made a mistake and it has stuck with us forever. It is this idea of perfectionism and not making mistakes that leads us to being afraid of trying new things or afraid to get up in front of people and making a mistake. I know first hand that when I make a mistake, I am harder on myself than anyone would be. I tend to turn a little mistake into a great big deal and then I beat myself up about it for a few days. I think what we all need to realize is that when we do make a mistake usually no one else notices, and if they do, they really don't care. Think about it, when you see someone slip up in a speech, do you really care? Do you think about it for the rest of the day? I'm sure most of us could care less and we never think about it again.

The problem as I mentioned earlier is that when we fear making mistakes, it hinders us from trying new things. We never want to challenge ourselves or go out on the limb and stretch our comfort limits. I read an interesting article that was written by Margaret Kim and it was on how you can break free from the fear of making mistakes. There were seven great ideas that I hope you will think about. I know I will try them.

1. Determine where your desire for perfection comes from.
2. Examine your beliefs about making mistakes
3. Find instances that prove your beliefs wrong.
4. Develop new beliefs.
5. Be kind to yourself when you make mistakes (I need this one).
6. Make some mistakes. In other words, try something new.

Remember, making mistakes is how you learn. As I think of my granddaughter, I think of when she learns to walk. She will fall over and over again but she will not quit. She will keep at it until she learns to walk. We all did. See babies haven't learned negative associations from making mistakes. Maybe it's time we got rid of the negative associations we have and start walking into new areas that we have been afraid to try.

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