Exercise Your Rights

Civic Duty - The concept of civic duty is based on the principle that citizens owe some allegiance to their government and that government in turn protects its citizens. Civic duties refer to the responsibilities of citizens. Some examples of civic duties are obeying the law, serving on a jury, paying taxes and voting.

I have had the honor of being called for jury duty this week and it opened my eyes to civic duty. First of all, let me explain that I was not real crazy when I found out that I had to show up for jury duty this week. I had a whole lot of reasons why I didn't want to serve, especially this week. One of the main reasons I had for not serving was that it is Ohio Graduation Test (OGT) week, and I knew this would put a strain on student services and the staff. I also know that when I am gone for a day or two, the work load seems to be four times more when I get back. It just wasn't a convenient time and I was reluctant. However, I did show up and went through the entire process of being selected for jury duty. To watch all that goes on and to see how thorough the lawyers, judge, and court personnel were, was just amazing. It gave me a whole new respect for the system and how fair they try to make it for the defendant and everyone involved. It was very professional and first class. Unfortunately I was released from duty and did not get to experience the entire process. I now hope that I will get another chance some day and I can proudly perform my civic duty.

Another civic duty that many of us will have a chance to perform next week is the duty to cast your vote. I hope if you have reached the age of 18, that you have registered to vote in this election. I also hope that if you registered to vote, that you would exercise your right to vote next Tuesday. There are a lot of people who have fought for our right to vote and many who have died so that we would have the right to vote and to live in this great country. Every time you see a military personnel, I hope you thank them for their service. They are the reason why we can serve on a jury, and why we have the ability to vote. Please don't neglect this obligation that all of our citizens should take advantage of. There are people all over the world who would love to have the right to vote for the people or the issues that effect them.

So as I think about this week and next, I can't help feeling very patriotic and proud. It is easy to get frustrated with the things going on in this country and with things we don't agree with. However on Tuesday, we have a chance to let our voice be heard. We can say yes, I will perform my civic duty. I also hope if you ever get called for jury duty, you will look forward to the experience and proudly exercise your rights.

I Am Okay

According to Webster's dictionary, self-esteem is described as "a feeling of having respect for yourself and your abilities. Most of us struggle occasionally with feelings of low self-worth. However, a California task force to promote self-esteem and personal and social responsibility, points to poor self-esteem as the single factor underlying social problems such as welfare dependency and academic failure. They believe that the boosting of self-esteem correlates with the reduction of crime, drug use, and other antisocial activities. They stated that "self-esteem is like a vaccine. Once introduced into an individual's behavioral system, it can help one live responsibly and ward off the lures of crime, violence, substance abuse, teen pregnancy, child abuse, chronic welfare dependency, and educational failure". Wow! You can certainly see how building self-esteem in the youth of today is very important.

One might ask, "how does self-esteem become so low in our youth?". Well the answer is years and years of negative thoughts, put-downs and negative critical comments. Now I hope the students reading this are asking, "well how can I improve my self-esteem?". That's a great question because I believe that we should focus on the solutions, not focus on how we got there. There is a great website that has a long list of ideas. You can visit KidsHealth to see the complete list but I thought I would list a few for you here.

1) Manage your inner critic - Notice the critical things you say to yourself. The put-downs. Would you say these things to a good friend? Then don't say them to yourself.

2) View mistakes as learning opportunities - Accept that you will make mistakes. Everyone does. It's part of learning

3) Recognize what you can change and what you can't - If there is something you can change, begin working on it today. If it's something you can't change, learn to live with it and accept it.

4) Accept compliments - Wow, this is a good one. Don't blow off compliments. Think about them and accept them as real. People sometimes see what you don't.

These are just some of the ideas you can use. Also, remember to help build self-esteem in your friends and family. Encourage others and let them know how much you enjoy them and how special they are in your life. Point out the things that they are good at or things that are special about them. We all need positive self-esteem to be successful. If I can borrow from a Virginia Satir poem called "I AM ME", she says; "In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine because I alone chose it... I own me, and therefore I can engineer me - I am me and I am okay".

Heroes Among Us

Have you ever heard the saying, "It is better to give than to receive" or "Serving others will always bring you satisfaction"? Well maybe you haven't heard the second one, it's not as popular as the first one. I really don't even know where I picked it up from. However, I have found throughout my life and my various careers, that both sayings are really true. I really do believe when you serve others, it brings some satisfaction to your life. You know you aren't going to get paid for your service but yet you walk away from whatever you were doing and feel great about what you did. It can be hard to explain but it does make you happy. I see it all the time when our ambassadors work on the day of caring or the blood drive. I talk with these student's afterwards and they always comment on how hard the work was but that it felt really good helping others out.

Well recently I have discovered a hidden group of students who have figured this out at a really young age. I am talking about our health career students who are out working as STNA's (State Tested Nursing Assistants). Over the past couple of years I have been able to talk to many of these students who work in various nursing homes and elderly care centers in our area. I have been able to ask them about the type of work they do (which isn't totally pleasant work) and if they enjoy their jobs. I am always amazed that so many of them really enjoy this work simply because they get to help elderly people who are very sick or very old and dying. They said it makes them feel good helping the older people who can't help themselves. They take a certain pride when the patients ask for them by name or if they miss a day of work, the patients ask where they are. Many of these students went into our Health Careers field for various reasons. They thought it would be steady work for the rest of their lives, good money or their mother or father are in the health career field. What I find interesting is that each one ended up finding fulfillment in the job because they found joy in helping others and wanted to stay in the health field. This says a lot about my earlier statements. Maybe it is better to give than to receive and when we do this, we do find satisfaction and fulfillment.

A few times in my counseling career, I have met with a health career student who needed help getting through some grief they were experiencing because they lost a patient the night before. I can't tell you how much it moves me to see the love that these students have for their patients. It's as if they lost their own grandpa or grandma. They talk about how hard it is knowing they are gone and how sad it will be walking by their rooms. They tell me how they held the patients hand just the night before while the patient was falling asleep. They wrestle with their feelings and their reactions. Some get told not to get involved with their patients because they will get hurt, but I tell them to continue loving everyone of them right up to the end. These students may be the only person who shows love and concern to the patient. Many of them are without family and are in the nursing home all alone. It is these "heroes among us" who bring a warm feeling and peace to these patients as they take their last breath.

I have developed a deeper appreciation for our health career students and also for the fabulous lab instructors we have here at Vantage and have had in the past. I think of Shirley Jarvis who was the most soft spoken and kind person, the epitome of a Florence Nightingale. I also think of Reesa Rohrs who was strict with the students but loved them and cared for them like no other. I often told the students that I am glad she is so strict with them because when I am in the hospital and they walk in, I will know they were trained by the best. Currently we have two outstanding teachers who continue the excellence of our previous instructors, Leigh Carey and Wendy Baumle. I can't thank them enough for all the work they put into molding and shaping these heroes among us. Thanks!

10 More Fridays

Someone told me the other day that there are only ten more Friday's until Christmas. Can you believe it, only ten more Friday's. Wow. That got me thinking, "how are we going to get so much done in so little time?". Well I guess we go through this every year so we will manage, but I thought I would list all the upcoming things so you can prepare.

1) October 18 - 24: Teen Read Week. Media center will be having a book swap this week, a raffle based on pages read and a logo contest.

2) October 20: Home school group pictures and picture re-takes

3) October 23: Last day of the first nine weeks

4) October 26 - 30: OGT week. Remember, if you have all OGT's passed, then you are on a two hour delay the entire week.

5) November 2-6: Ambassadors selling flags on stage during lunch

6) November 4,5,6: I will be attending the All Ohio Counselors Conference in Columbus

7) November 9 - 13: 8th grade tour week

8) November 23: Haiti Carnival & Parent Teacher Conferences on the 23rd and 24th.

9) November 25 -30: Thanksgiving break

WOW! That is only up until Thanksgiving break. December always has the toys for tots drive, Christmas lab parties and many other activities. So hold your breath, get your Christmas shopping done and enjoy the ride.

Gone But Not Forgotten

I'm sure when you read the title of this blog today you were thinking of how many times you have heard that saying, "Gone But Not Forgotten", especially when talking about someone who has passed away. This time however I am referring to the students who have attended Vantage over the years but are now moved out of the area or are busy living their new life. See the other day Mrs. Hatcher and I were talking about several students that have graduated from here and how they used to make us laugh or they were just pleasant to be around. This was a long list of some great students and it seemed that the list was getting longer the more we talked. There were some great memories and a lot of laughs. This is when I thought to myself that it is sad that we don't get to see them very much anymore, or in some cases, not at all.

I instantly thought of a quote from one of my favorite movies, the Shawshank Redemption. Red was thinking out loud to himself and thinking about his good friend Andy Dufresne who had just escaped from prison. Red no longer had Andy with him and they had spent twenty some years together. Red said: "Sometimes it makes me sad, though... Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend."

Well I certainly don't think Vantage is drab and empty that those students are gone, no it's just the opposite to me. See I believe in the old story that our life is like a bank. When we meet good people who are trustworthy, kind, compassionate and funny, it is like them depositing "money" in our bank. We have that money to spend by being trustworthy, kind, compassionate and funny to others. When we meet negative people who bring us down, they remove this "money" from our bank and we no longer have it available to us. So I feel these past students have deposited a lot of money in my bank and I continue to use it on all the future students. They have left a mark on me and it has made me a better person.

Like ole Red said, I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are too bright. I think that's what happens here at Vantage. We train these students to go out and be successful and be well rounded adults. We help them find jobs that match their skills or we prepare them for college. It is only when they leave that they can finally spread their wings on their own. We then stand proudly knowing that they can soar to unbelievable heights. I am thankful for these past students that we remember fondly and so many current ones who are making deposits... I guess I just miss my friends.

Problem Collection Day

Next Wednesday at Vantage we will have a big dumpster in the commons where we can dump all our problems. Everyone will be invited down to the commons during their advantage period time and allowed to throw their problems in the dumpster. HOWEVER, once the dumpster is filled, you will then have to go back to the dumpster and randomly choose one other persons problem and make it your own. Now think about what I just said... That doesn't sound very appealing does it? Okay, Okay, this is not really happening but it is food for thought.

See, so many times in our life we wish that all our problems would just go away. We wish we didn't have to battle through them. They seem to break us and take us to our limit. But if you really think about it, so many things that we have gone through in life have made us the person we are today. They make us a better person than who we were. When we face our problems and struggle through them, they make us a stronger person.

This concept that I came up with for this blog started at lunch yesterday when Mr. Darrell Miller and I were complaining about some of our physical ailments and things that are hurting. We discussed the problems we have to deal with in our own health and how they affect us. We then started looking around the lunch room and realized that many of these students deal with a lot tougher stuff then we ever have to. It made me realize that maybe we are not so bad off and it made me wonder, "would we want to trade our problems with others". I came to the conclusion that I think many of you may come to, and that answer is no. First of all, let me be clear. I realize someone with a life threatening illness would switch in a heartbeat with anyone else, I understand that and I am not down playing that issue. But what I am trying to say is, we all have problems and issues that we have to deal with on a daily basis. That's the funny thing about life, it is never easy. However, what is easy, is to think that you are the only one hurting or the only one that has to deal with problems on a daily basis. That simply is not true. I can almost say with certainty, that everyone has some worry or concern on their mind everyday. If we keep that in mind and think about that when we are hurting, maybe we won't feel so alone or be afraid to talk with someone about the problem. You may be surprised when you open up to a friend or to a classmate and realize that they have had to deal with a similar situation and now are ready to help you through that same problem. Maybe because of the things you have gone through in life, you may be able to help someone who is facing that same type of problem.

So no, we are not having a dumpster in our commons area for you to dump your problems off. That might be nice but it isn't reality. What is reality is that you will have problems in life, but you are not alone. Second, these problems will make you stronger and a better person. Third, you don't have to handle them on your own. You have friends and classmates to talk with, open up to family members, and of course you are always welcome to come talk with me. Remember, problems ignored grow. Solutions ignored disappear.

One Is Too Many

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. There is a group that has a lot of great information on this topic, and it is called the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV). There is a lot of great information on their website. I would hope you take the time to visit and if possible, become a member. The reason that there is an awareness month is because domestic violence can be stopped if we all speak out and work together. Domestic violence thrives when we stay silent.

Throughout the month of October, NNEDV has offered all kinds of ways to get involved. Just some of the ways listed on their website are: Follow them on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram or Pinterest and read along as they share #31 in 31, which means, each day of the month they will share a different survivors story. Some are uplifting, some are heartbreaking; all are true. - Wear purple, the color of domestic violence - Change your social media profile and cover photos. The main thing, is don't be silent.

You may be wondering why I am talking about domestic violence in a school culture. Well the truth is: DATING VIOLENCE IS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE. According to the NNEDV website, most people have their first relationship while in high school or college. It's new, exciting, thrilling and sometimes sexual. Unfortunately, this can also be some of the most dangerous times in a woman's life. Women ages 16 - 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence. In fact, nearly 1.5 million high school students experience physical abuse from a dating partner each year and more than half of the women who are raped are under the age of 18. Dating violence is the use of power and control over one individual by someone who is supposed to care about him or her. Dating violence is not only just physical, but can also be emotional and psychological abuse and include behaviors such as stalking, isolation of friends and family and being possessive.  Since this is often their first love or serious relationship, many young people may not know the red flags or identify problematic behaviors.

It is time to end the silence on dating violence. Please speak up if you see one of your friends in a violent relationship. Please come see me if you are in that type of relationship, or if you aren't sure but have concerns. There is help and I want to help you. You do not need to take this abuse. Help a friend before it is to late and remember once is too many times.