Turn Back Time

As you are well aware, next Sunday we will be changing our clocks back one hour and leaving Daylight Savings time. I don't know how you feel about the time change next Sunday, but for me, I have never been real fond of it. I never liked the idea of it being dark an hour or two after we get home from work or school. As Yogi Berra once said "it gets late early out there". It just seems like the energy of the day is already spent and rather than going outside and keeping busy, it's a little to easy to sit down and read or watch t.v. I will appreciate the extra hour of sleep next Saturday night though.

Turning the clock back an hour in the fall and moving it forward in the spring is a strange idea. Can you imagine if we could do that with our life. I was thinking about that today and it was an interesting concept. If I could "turn back time" where would I go to? Would I want to go back to a time when life seemed pretty simple and innocent or would I want to spring forward a few years to see what my children are doing with their lives? It would be interesting to go ahead ten years and see what my granddaughter is doing and what her life is like. If I could go back in time, would I change anything? Would I want to do things over in a different way? I think the answer that I came up with, at least for myself, is that life is pretty good right where I am at. I can look back on life and see the things I've accomplished or maybe some of the things that didn't necessarily go as I would have wanted them to. Either way, they were life lessons that I use in my everyday life. As far as going into the future, I think I am pretty content just holding those plans and dreams in front of me and looking forward to them. After all, I don't want my life to rush by.

I think all of us, especially the students here at Vantage, can look back and see some accomplishments and maybe some disappointments. The important thing is that you learn from them and use them to build your life today. You can also look to the future by setting some awesome goals and working hard to accomplish them. I really think we are all better off by just letting the clocks jump back and forth. Let us live for today and make it the very best day we can. In closing, I would like to say a very happy belated birthday to a dear reader of my blog, Mrs. Van Oss (Kevin's mother). Mrs. Van Oss has lived a nice long life and I'm sure she has so much to be thankful for in her past and also looks forward to her future. I wish you many more birthdays and good health.

Sensitive subject

Today I decided to write my blog on a subject that is very sensitive but one I feel needs to be talked about. The subject is suicide. I touched on this subject last February and you are welcome to go back and read that one also. However, within the last few weeks, there have been at least three suicides that I know of in the Lima and Van Wert area. These suicides involved students who just graduated last year. One of our own home schools, Delphos Jefferson, is dealing with that tragedy today. I had a girl here at Vantage ask me, "What is it going to take for something to change?". She really would just love to tell teenagers everywhere to stop being so judgmental.  To just try to get along and love each other. She said we should be there to pick each other up instead of pushing each other down. Pretty simple words spoken so eloquently by a student who is hurting, a student who cares and a student who is tired of seeing lost lives.

For the last several years I have put on a suicide prevention presentation that is taken from Darcy and Paul Granello and the QPR Institute. Paul & Darcy are both doctors in the mental health field at Ohio State University. The reason this presentation is so important is because based on 2016 data, there are about 117 suicides per day; 1 every 12.3 minutes. Suicide is the 3rd ranking cause of death for teenagers. There are so many teens today who are crying out for help but yet they get ignored. Research shows that the most likely response to suicidal communication from family, colleagues, and friends is...SILENCE. Prior to making a suicide attempt 90% of people demonstrate clear warning signs and 70% tell another person. It is also known that over 60% of all people who die by suicide suffer from major depression. If one includes alcoholics who are depressed, this figure rises to over 75%. Depression affects nearly 10 percent of Americans ages 18 and over in a given year, or more than 24 million people. We must recognize the warning signs of depression so we can get help or get help for someone we know. The symptoms of Depression are:

- Depressed mood
- Change in sleeping and eating patterns
- Loss of interest or pleasure in usual activities
- Fatigue or loss of energy
- Diminished ability to think or concentrate
- Thoughts of death or suicide, or wishing to be dead

A lot of you may be thinking that you know someone who needs help but you are afraid to approach them or you may be afraid of what to say. The main thing that I hope you take from this blog today is that if you are concerned about a friend then you must communicate with them. Tell them you are worried about them and then ask "the question". That question is "Are you thinking about suicide" or "Are you thinking about killing yourself". Research shows that mentioning suicide to a student doesn't lead to suicide. Since almost everything you do to convince the student to live instead of killing themselves will be met with relief, don't hesitate to get involved or take the lead. You are not a counselor, so don't worry about what to say or do. Immediately take them to get help. You can lead that student to a friend, to an older adult, teacher, staff member or myself. I am always available and will help immediately if you come to me.

The main thing you want to do is provide HOPE. Most people who have survived a suicide attempt stated that they did not want to die, they just wanted the pain to end. They didn't know what else to do or who to turn to. They had no hope. Be that hope for them and reach out.

I have included the presentation that I use. You can access it by clicking here.

Fuel The Fire

So many times throughout the school year I deal with students who are dealing with broken relationships or fighting with their best friends. I see the tremendous pain that it causes in their lives and the sadness that they have to deal with. They feel betrayed by their friend or classmate and have a hard time understanding what happened to the relationship. One common theme I hear from them is the words "me" or "I" when they talk about the friendship. In other words, the discussion many times goes back to the point that they feel they weren't treated right or they weren't treated fairly. This could very well be true but I also ask them if they were treating the other person right or fair.

It is very easy for us to look at a relationship and think that the other person wasn't helping to make it work. Many times I hear the students say that their boyfriend, girlfriend or BFF wasn't as nice as when they first start dating or hanging out. I guess sometimes it's easy to become a little self-centered and look at what's wrong with the other person. It's a little more difficult to look in the mirror and ask what might I be doing wrong or how might I not be contributing. I usually get strange looks from the students when I ask this. I have often tried to come up with some illustrations to show this point.

Well this weekend, I had one of those moments that will make a great illustration. Today (Sunday, October 9th) was my wife's birthday. We were very fortunate to have our oldest son, his wife and our only grandchild come visit us this weekend to celebrate. Last night we were sitting around the fire and I was thinking. When I lit the fire, I had all kinds of twigs, pine needles, kindling, etc in the fire pit. As soon as the match hit it, it began a roaring fire. We were all sitting there enjoying it but I realized that I needed to put some logs on it or the fire would go out and everyone would be disappointed (and cold). I knew I had to keep stoking the fire. Throughout the night, I kept adding log after log, which kept the fire roaring so that everyone could enjoy it (even my granddaughter fell asleep by the warmth of the fire in grandma's arms).

Well that reminded me that our relationships are like that fire. It's easy to start out and have a roaring fire. We all remember that first date or that first kiss. Sparks were flying. However, our relationships need "logs" added to them constantly if we want them to keep going. We need to do nice things for our friends or our boyfriend/girlfriend. We need to think of them more than ourselves. We need to do and say things that make them feel special. These are like adding logs to the fire. Like I said, today was my wife's birthday, so after the kids headed home I was able to take Jeana up to the Defiance area and enjoy a beautiful fall day. I know how much she enjoys the fall weather and walks in the woods. This was another way of adding a log on the fire. I hope you think about your relationships and how you can add a "log" everyday to make that relationship roar and last a long time.

Time for FAFSA

For the first time, the FAFSA is now open on October 1st.  (In the past it used to open on January 1st.)  The government and colleges have moved FAFSA's opening date and due dates up in order to give students and families more time to be able to have their financial aid offers and consider the implications when making the decision about which college will be the best fit financially.  The FAFSA for high school seniors will be based upon the 2015 tax returns.  You can access the FAFSA here:  https://fafsa.ed.gov/

When students and parents are completing the FAFSA, you will each need to have an FSAID number.  This number will allow you to electronically sign your FAFSA and in the future it would let you sign promissory notes as well as complete future FAFSA's.

The student and parent will each create their own separate numbers.  You cannot use the same e-mail addresses for the creation of the numbers so if you don't have an e-mail address and have been using your parents e-mail in the past then this is the ideal time to create your own e-mail account.

You will make your own challenge questions to help you access your number if you forget it in the future so it is important to write down those challenge questions and answers to make sure you will remember it down the road.  I recommend that students and parents make a folder related to FAFSA where you store all of this information so that you will always have it when you might need it.

If you forget to create an FSAID number prior to completing your FAFSA, it will still have a link for you to be able to go back and create one, but ideally you should create it ahead of time.

Here is a link to create your FSAID numbers:  https://fsaid.ed.gov/npas/index.htm

There will be several financial aid meetings for parents to attend at the various home schools. Below is the list of dates and times:

Wayne Trace - October 3rd (TONIGHT) @ 6:30 pm
Jennings, Ottoville, Continental, Kalida - October 5th @ Ft. Jennings 6:00 pm
Delphos St. John, Jefferson - October 10th @ Jefferson 7:00 pm
Van Wert, Lincolnview, Crestview - October 12th @ Van Wert 6:30 pm
Antwerp - October 25th 6:15 pm
Paulding - November 10th @ 6:00 pm

I also want to remind the seniors that I will be presenting financial aid information on Wednesday during both Advantage periods. If I didn't get you signed up the other day, please come see me. One final reminder, we will be having our college night here at Vantage on Wednesday, October 5th from 6:30 pm - 8:00 pm. Over 40 colleges will be in attendance. This is a great way to pick up a lot of information on a lot of different schools all in one night. Parents and friends are welcome.