You Deserve Better

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month. Teen DV Month (sometimes called TDVAM) is a national effort to raise awareness about abuse in teen and 20-something relationships and promote programs that prevent it. I realize we are getting close to Valentines day and people think about romance and love but it is also a good time to talk about the other side of that coin.

Most people have their first relationship while in high school or college. It's new, exciting, thrilling and sometimes sexual. Unfortunately, this can also be some of the most dangerous times in a woman's life. Women ages 16 - 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence. In fact, nearly 1.5 million high school students experience physical abuse from a dating partner each year and more than half of the women who are raped are under the age of 18. Dating violence is the use of power and control over one individual by someone who is supposed to care about him or her. Dating violence is not only just physical, but can also be emotional and psychological abuse and include behaviors such as stalking, isolation of friends and family and being possessive.  Since this is often their first love or serious relationship, many young people may not know the red flags or identify problematic behaviors.

According to the Project Aware Ohio website, 1 in 3 teens has been a victim of dating violence and about 1 in 3 has committed relationship violence. 9.6% of high school students in a dating relationship have been physically hurt on purpose (being hit, slammed into something, or injured with an object or weapon) by a boyfriend or girlfriend. 10.6% of high school students in a dating relationship have been forced to do sexual things by a boyfriend or girlfriend. I think it is important that you realize that teen dating violence is not just hitting but also includes controlling another person. If your dating partner will not let you hang out with your friends, if they call or text you constantly to find out where you are, if they tell you what to wear, or if they want you to be with them at all times, then these are signs of controlling behavior. Do not settle for this.

The sad part about teen dating violence is that only 33% of teens who were in an abusive relationship ever told anyone about the abuse. It is time to end the silence on dating violence. Please speak up if you see one of your friends in a violent relationship. Please come see me if you are in that type of relationship, or if you aren't sure but have concerns. There is help and I want to help you. You do not need to take this abuse. Help a friend before it is to late and remember once is too many times. You deserve better than this.

Don't Forget to Stretch

I heard an interesting comment the other day and I found it not only interesting but also that it really pertained to the students here at Vantage. The gentleman was describing that we should live our lives similar to that of a rubber band. Instantly I was intrigued as he began to explain what he meant. He said that a rubber band is not designed to function when it is just sitting there. It is never being used for its true purpose until it is stretched. I have seen some amazing things from our students when they truly "stretch" themselves. I have watched students who were afraid to speak in public do an amazing job when they got up in front of a classroom. Every year at graduation I watch as students give a wonderful farewell speech to their classmates, but only weeks before they said they could never get up on stage and speak. I also have been witness to several students over the years who never dreamed they could compete at the Skills USA contest, only to go on and win the entire competition.

The point I am trying to make is that everyone of these students had to get out of their comfort zone and, like a rubber band, stretch themselves. I also believe that we were not created to be complacent in our everyday life. I feel we need to get out of our comfort zone and experience new things. We were designed for so much more but we will never know how much we are capable of until we stretch ourselves. It doesn't have to be something big like moving to another country after graduation (although it could be) or wanting to go skydiving (not a chance I would do that). It could be something simple like sitting down at a lunch table with someone who is alone. Introducing yourself to a new student that you haven't met yet. There are several opportunities in your labs and in the classroom where you could do something you never saw yourself doing. How about signing up for the Poetry Out Loud contest or volunteering to represent your lab at BPA or Skills USA?

I hope you will think about stretching yourself. Maybe the next time a teacher asks for a volunteer to do something that you never saw yourself doing before, you will go ahead and raise your hand. If you feel uncomfortable, awkward or strange doing this then that is a good thing. You are growing and becoming all that you were meant to be. Well as we start our second semester, I hope you will work hard and finish strong this year. The rest of this school year will fly by and before you know it the seniors will be graduating. Remember it is not a sprint but a marathon, don't forget to stretch.